Street Smart Chicago

Sex School: The Burlington offers everything you’ve ever wanted to know

Events, Logan Square, Love & Sex Add comments

strike-a-poseWhere can you find six women in one room who would happily don a strap-on and take on a guy? Or a bar full of men who shout out the maximum distance they’ve managed to shoot a load?

Logan Square bar The Burlington is home to the monthly Sunday Night Sex Show, where creators and hosts Allen Makere and Robyn Pennacchia infuse your mind, libido and sense of humor with any and all things sex-related. In case you were wondering, the longest distance shouted was nine feet.

With the Sunday Night Sex Show celebrating its sixth month in existence, it’s no surprise to find that most of the audience members are regulars and well acquainted with Pennacchia and Makere. The room fills up quickly and nearly every seat in the place is occupied.

Trivia questions that win you leather whips and penis-shaped lollipops teach you such things as Objectùm-Sexuality (to love and be intimate with objects; from the massive Eiffel Tower to the average clock radio), the state with the highest in-state percentage of porn subscribers (Utah, 5.47 people per 1,000) and that a former second lady wrote a controversial novel allegedly depicting graphic scenes of rape and lesbian sex (“Sisters” by Lynne Cheney).

In between the various questions and naughty prizes, local writers are given the chance to read short works of creative non-fiction about their past and current sexual experiences. While most of the writers seem to be Fiction Writing students from Columbia College, anyone with a fun and wild tale of sex, or attempted sex, is encouraged to read.

Audience members are encouraged to write and anonymously submit questions concerning sex and relationships. The audience is also asked to participate if they know an answer or at least have a suspicion about it, and everything is open to a fun, laugh-filled debate.

Sounds a bit group-couples counciling-ish, but with questions like “Can you get a guy off by just kneading their tank?” to “How does one become a squirter? Is it a learned ability or are you vaginally born with it?” it’s anything but. While Makere and Pennacchia don’t seem the doctoral types, they answer questions based on their past experiences. In response to the squirting question, Makere tells a hilarious tale about his encounter with a Spanish boarder with “a cooch like a volcano.” (Khaveri Campbell)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.