This Week’s Biggest Gainers

1 Andre Dawson
The Cubs great outfielder was voted into baseball’s Hall of Fame. Let’s hope he dons the white and blue, rather than that ugly Expos uni.

2 John McDonough
The team president of the Blackhawks earned a contract extension through 2016.

3 Greg Maddux
The Cubs great pitcher was hired as an assistant to General Manager Jim Hendry

4 Steven D. Jacobsen, Dr. Melina Kibbe
The Northwestern faculty members were two of the scientists who received the Presidential Early Career Award from the White House.

5 Mayor Daley
Despite rumors, Rahm Emanuel denied planning to run for mayor of Chicago. He even gave Daley a thumbs up.

This Week’s Biggest Losers

1 Rod Blagojevich
In an interview with Esquire magazine, the former governor was quoted as saying he’s “blacker than Barack Obama.” Oh. My. God. Make it stop.

2 Paul Volpe
The chief of staff to Mayor Daley was demoted.

3 Jaroslaw Czapla
The Cubs fan charged with severely beating his brother-in-law Sox fan at a child’s birthday party—in which the victim lost an eye—was sentenced to six months in prison.

4 Todd Stroger
Fliers distributed allegedly in the Board President’s name contain racially charged language accusing Dorothy Brown and Danny Davis of “splitting the black vote.” Whether it actually came from Stroger or not, it looks bad.

5 Sammy Sosa
Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids during his career, which prompted sportswriters to demand that the longtime Cubs slugger fess up himself.