This Week’s Biggest Gainers

1 Mike Martz
The offensive mind was tapped to be the Bears new offensive coordinator. Finally.

2 Barack Obama
The president got some love from the media for his “I don’t quit”-themed State of the Union address.

3 Vinny Del Negro
The Bulls coach guided his team to a five-game road-trip winning streak in which each opponent had a winning record, a first in the history of the NBA.

4 Derrick Rose
The star Bulls guard was selected to play in the NBA All-Star Game.

5 Xavier Nady
Meet your new Cubs outfielder; without doing anything, he’s already done more for the team than Milton Bradley.

This Week’s Biggest Losers

1 Isaac Carothers
The alderman pleaded guilty and admitted he took thousands of dollars of bribes while in office.

2 Sergio Fuentes
The Earlville policeman was charged with allegedly delivering marijuana while on duty.

3 Nicholas Blase
The former mayor of Niles was sentenced to a year in jail for conducting business shakedowns during his reign.

4 Drew Peterson
During his pre-trial hearing his former neighbor testified that Kathleen Savio told him she feared her husband and that the police weren’t doing enough to help her. Yikes.

5 Henry Burris
Politico reported that the U.S. Senator is over $600,000 in legal debt. Wow.