This Week’s Biggest Gainers

1 Pat Quinn
The governor won the democratic primary election for Illinois governor.

2 Alexi Giannoulias, Mark Kirk
The Democrat and the Republican, respectively, won their primaries and are set to go head to head in November’s election of U.S. Senate.

3 Rod Marinelli
The Bears coach was promoted to defensive coordinator. Woo-hoo.

4 Jennifer Petrusky
The 23-year-old sous chef at Charlie Trotter’s won the “Best Fish” award at the Bocuse d’Or national cooking competition, considered the culinary Olympics.

5 Omar Vizquel
The Sox infielder was awarded a Hall-of-Famer’s jersey number; he’ll wear Luis Aparicio’s now un-retired 11, in tribute.

This Week’s Biggest Losers

1 Scott Lee Cohen
The Democratic Primary winner for Illinois Lieutenant Governor stepped down in light of allegations of domestic abuse in his past.

2 Nathan L. Green
The Maple Park man was sentenced to four years in prison for dumping the body of a friend who had overdosed on heroin.

3 Richard Dent
The Bears great was denied admittance to football’s Hall of Fame.

4 Joakim Noah
The Bulls forward was shut down—most likely through the all-star break—for his bout with plantar fasciitis.

5 Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith
The Bears bosses were ridiculed in the media for having to promote Marinelli to defensive coordinator after the team’s hunt for a new coach failed.