This week’s biggest gainers:

1
Rahm Emanuel
The Supremes say you’re on the ballot and the media says you’re a shoo-in. Do we still need to vote?

2
Derrick Rose
We’d get an ulcer too, if we’d had to wait this long to know that our stellar season landed us a starting slot in the All-Star game. Read the rest of this entry »

“Life’s Ruff,” a stage performance featuring dogs and their owners in a game-show setting is holding a casting call at Gorilla Tango Theatre, 1919 North Milwaukee, Saturday starting at 1pm. “We’re looking for dogs and owners, people who don’t know a lot about training,” says Dog Saving Network founder Chris Dignan. “We really want to show that anyone can learn how to train if you’re dedicated to it.”

Having an adopted dog is not a requirement, but dogs are expected to be spayed/neutered and vaccinated, and should understand basic obedience skills. Above all, Dignan considers the connection between the dog and the owner: “We’re looking for a dog and an owner that work well together. We don’t care how many tricks they know because we can train them.” He cites personality traits as the most important. “We prefer an attentive owner and an attentive dog, but I’ll work with just about anybody.” Read the rest of this entry »

Photo: Jonathan L. Green

As I make my way through the crowd I am accosted by a petite woman wearing a banana costume and thigh-high fishnets, shouting at me to put all my money on her. She is The Banana Split, and she has come to dominate.

“Potassium gives you strength,” she says, with steely determination. “And I’m full of potassium.”

The Banana Split (a.k.a. Nicole Richwalsky) has a hard night ahead of her. She’ll be competing against such dangerous adversaries as Malice in Wonderland, Babraham Lincoln and Gaga Gunshow to see who will be crowned champion in the eighth title bout of the Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to win,” says two-time CLLAW champion Strawberry Shivcake (or Ellen Wohlberg, 9 to 5). “Whether it’s illegal, stabbing someone, killing someone, bribing someone; bribes never hurt…”

Indeed, the matches haven’t even started yet when CLLAW 7′s reigning champ, The Killer Bee, gets shivved by Strawberry (natch) in the middle of the introductions.

“I’ve killed The Killer Bee’s manager a couple of times,” remarks Strawberry. “And The Bee ‘Nancy Kerrigan-ed’ The Cutting Edge last time.”

Started in 2009 as a satellite group of the original CLAW (Charlottesville Lady Arm Wrestlers), the Chicago group has rapidly become one of the top Lady Arm Wrestling groups in the nation. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What rewards do you deserve for all the good living and the hard work you’ve done since your last birthday? And what amends should you make for the mediocre living and the work you’ve shirked since your last birthday? If you choose this week to take care of these two matters with purposeful clarity, you will ensure the best possible outcomes. The reward you earn will be the right one, and the amends you offer will provide the proper correction. Read the rest of this entry »

This week’s biggest gainers:

1
Brian Urlacher
That’s a heavy load of Bear you’re carrying on your shoulders.

2
Caleb Hanie
Third-string QB came thisclose to a Hollywood ending. Read the rest of this entry »

Photo: Kristine Sherred

Standing just inside the Dearborn Street entrance of Chase Tower, Amanda Scotese welcomes her Friday Chicago Detours group to “Explore the Loop without Freezing.” This morning brings only four curious people together, but Scotese caps the number of tickets at twenty anyway, creating what she characterizes as a unique, personal and immersive urban experience. The attendees give their names and hometowns before Scotese pulls out the multimedia component, an iPad, starting with a nineteenth-century clip of a Chicago intersection and a Studs Terkel snippet.

“It’s not just facts. This is about stories and a theme that binds them together,” says Scotese.

Her digital collection of archival footage, ephemera and images “you can’t piece together on the Internet” complement her mental reserve of “forgotten stories,” as she calls the fascinating history she shares at each stop. She encourages questions and conversation, fostering a collaborative educational environment unlike the talking head on run-of-the-mill tours.

“People love to learn!” she exclaims. “I don’t pretend to know everything, and I’m not into making up answers.” Anything she doesn’t know, she researches and posts answers to on the Chicago Detours blog. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The age-old question comes up for review once again: Which should predominate, independence or interdependence? The answer is always different, of course, depending on the tenor of the time and the phase of your evolution. But in the coming weeks, at least, my view is that you should put more emphasis on interdependence. I think you’ll reap huge benefits from wholeheartedly blending your energies with allies whose power and intelligence match yours. Read the rest of this entry »

For the past twenty years, a dark scourge has thrived in the heart of South Lakeview, mere blocks away from Wrigley Field. This twisted secret society gathers in the shadows nightly: drinking Leinenkugel, eating pickled herring and participating in bizarre rituals involving Muskies and some sort of card game known only as “Sheepshead.” They proudly call themselves Badgers and Cheeseheads. We know them as Packers fans. And yes, they live among us.

Since 1991, Will’s Northwoods Inn (3030 North Racine) has been the go-to Chicago bar for Wisconsinite expatriates and other assorted Green Bay faithful. Packers games have become such an event there that they even host crowds driving down from America’s Dairyland itself.

“If you just go to some bar in Wisconsin, it’s like going to any old bar here in Chicago to watch a Bears game,” explains Will’s GM Kevin Kruse. “But when you come here, it’s wall-to-wall hardcore fans.”

This Sunday marks one of the most anticipated football games in the history of the world (or, at least, the Midwest), as the Green Bay Packers travel to Chicago to face the Bears in a NFC Championship Game for the first time since 1941, and you can guarantee that Will’s Inn will be serving up plenty of beer brats and fried-cheese curds. Read the rest of this entry »

This Week’s Biggest Gainers:

1
Jay Cutler
Bears QB shut up his critics with a commanding performance in his first post-season game since high school. Now he gets to go to the prom with the Green Bay Packers.

2
Lovie Smith
Matched Da Coach’s number of Conference Championship berths by leading the Bears to the brink of their third Super Bowl, with the help of his supporting cast of castaway head coaches. Read the rest of this entry »

This Week’s Biggest Gainers:

1
Bill Daley
Just when you thought the dynasty was over, the mayor’s kid brother signed on as President Obama’s chief of staff.

2
Hugh Hefner
Prevailed in his bid to take Playboy private, proving the power of Viagra extends to the metaphorical  as well. Read the rest of this entry »