Street Smart Chicago

Chicago Hype Exchange: Charting the Capricious Contours of Celebrity

Chicago Hype Exchange Add comments

This Week’s Biggest Gainers:

1
Bill Daley
Just when you thought the dynasty was over, the mayor’s kid brother signed on as President Obama’s chief of staff.

2
Hugh Hefner
Prevailed in his bid to take Playboy private, proving the power of Viagra extends to the metaphorical  as well.

3
Lovie Smith
Drew the lowly Seattle Seahawks as the Bears first playoff opponents as karmic thanks for playing to win meaningless season finale in Green Bay.

4
Derrick Rose
Led the Bulls to a dominant win over the Celtics that signaled their presence among the NBA elite teams.

5
Patrick Quinn
Sworn into first term as elected governor…

This Week’s Biggest Losers:

1
Carol Moseley Braun
Prevailed as the “consensus African-American candidate” for mayor, but her fumbling over red-ink-stained tax returns led to cajoling that she’s running for office because she needs the salary.

2
Jody Weis
It’s unanimous: all four major candidates for mayor want to fire the police chief. Oh, and murders in Chicago just dropped to their lowest rate since 1965.

3
Patrick Quinn
…just as his massive tax hikes were threatening what limited popularity got him into office in the first place.

4
George Ryan
Despite his appeals, the convicted ex-guv won’t be granted leave to sit bedside by his dying wife.

5
Lura Lynn Ryan
Facing a painful death without her lifelong companion, the ex-guv’s wife received the cruelest punishment of all for her husband’s crimes.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.