Street Smart Chicago

Chicago Hype Exchange: Charting the Capricious Contours of Celebrity

Chicago Hype Exchange Add comments

This week’s biggest gainers:

1
Rahm Emanuel
The Supremes say you’re on the ballot and the media says you’re a shoo-in. Do we still need to vote?

2
Derrick Rose
We’d get an ulcer too, if we’d had to wait this long to know that our stellar season landed us a starting slot in the All-Star game.

3
Chris Medina
Sure, your life’s a tragic heartbreaker but at least you made the “American Idol” cut.

4
Pat Quinn
The governor took a break from taxing  us and signed a historic civil unions law.

5
Patrick Sharp
How about going for Stanley Cup MVP now that you’ve earned the All-Star Game honor?

This week’s biggest losers:

1
John Stone
The guy got a new job, but that’s still one ugly Packers tie.

2
Carol Moseley Braun
No truth to the rumor that her calling an opponent “strung out on crack” was due to the effects of Braun being strung out on organic hibiscus tea.

3
Gery Chico
Threw a “Hail Mary” pass in the mayoral race by calling for a Chicago-hosted Super Bowl but it fell incomplete.

4
Thomas Byrne
Streets and San honcho prepared for a really bad week as his legions got ready to remove the snow falling from the greatest blizzard in the history of the universe.

5
Amy Freeze
Ousted as WFLD/Fox weather anchor just as her namesake threatened upheaval across the country.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.