This week’s biggest gainers:

1
Greg Hall
Goose Island brewmaster decided “This Bud’s For You.”

2
Michael Jordan
About time you came back (at least with a steakhouse), cuz there’s a new Big Bull in Chicago.

3
Tom Thibodeau
Bulls coach started reaping accolades when his charge took over first place in the Eastern Conference.

4
Ron Low
Local foreskin restorer basked in publicity surge around a TLC appearance.

5
Dan Sinker
The Mayor-elect’s Great Gazoo got a book deal for his @MayorEmanuel tweets.

This week’s biggest losers:

1
Jerry Kleiner
Dining impresario’s empire seemed to be crumbling when both Gioco and Red Light suddenly shuttered, shortly after Marché and Opera bit the dust.

2
Sean Mulcahy
You should’ve stuck to a Plan A, like cutting off your brother’s balls for banging your fiancée, instead of killing his cat. Folks are serious about their pets.

3
Carlos Silva
Cubs said “See Ya” after the less-than-stellar pitcher ripped his team to the media.

4
Cortez Foster
Beating and sexually abusing a senior citizen in the park? Think you’ll get a taste of the same from your future “roommates”?

5
George Ryan
Ex-governor discovered that his death-row pardons not only meant forgive but also, legally, forget.