This week’s biggest gainers:

1
Saul Bellow
The Pulitzer Prize-, Nobel Prize- and National Medal of Arts-winning author attained in death what he probably always wished for in life: Gazillions of his books in the Chicago Public Library. “The Adventures of Augie March” is the latest “One Book, One Chicago.”

2
Rahm Emanuel
The passing of the mayor’s first hundred days might not have been worthy of an FDR comparison, but given Chicago’s record, they weren’t too shabby either.

3
Jason Durbin
The “Chicago Hometown Hero” firefighter-paramedic got the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to aurally assault every single Chicago resident during a prize trip in an F-16 during the Air and Water Show.

4
Jeff Mauro
The “Sandwich King” of Chicago was crowned the Food Network Star. Bam! He’s famous!

5
Edward “Teddy” Kim
Less is more in Chicago. The Korean-American chef’s new restaurant, Ruxbin, made Bon Appetit’s list of the country’s top-ten new eateries, and he did it with only thirty-two seats in his dining room.

This week’s biggest losers:

1
Jim Hendry
After a listless season with the Cubs, the now-former GM is going… going… gone!

2
R. Kelly
The Lakeview house where the singer recorded an infamous moment in R & B history was sold below its asking price, bringing up images best left trapped in the closet.

3
Randy Hultgren
The venerable Republican stated his firm opposition to taxes on the rich. His plan? Kindly ask them for donations.

4
Devin Hester
It’s bad enough the NFL undercut him with a new kickoff placement, but now the NCAA is bearing down on him with the U of Miami scandal.

5
Marcos Hernandez
The veteran Chicago cop pled guilty to taking bribes from tow truck operators in return for tips to traffic crashes. Now he’s heading for the Big Impound.