Street Smart Chicago

Free Will Astrology: Week of July 10, 2014

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By  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What are the sources that heal and nourish you? Where do you go to renew yourself? Who are the people and animals that treat you the best and are most likely to boost your energy? I suggest that in the coming week you give special attention to these founts of love and beauty. Treat them with the respect and reverence they deserve. Express your gratitude and bestow blessings on them. It’s the perfect time for you to summon an outpouring of generosity as you feed what feeds you. Read the rest of this entry »

Linework: Lemons

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By Max Clarke. Edited by Ivan Brunetti and Aaron Renier. (Click on image to enlarge.)

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Dime Stories: The Relentless Wisdom of Anthony Potenzo, Volume 3—The Patio.

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Illustration: Tony Fitzpatrick

Illustration: Tony Fitzpatrick

By Tony Fitzpatrick

Anthony Potenzo believes a good joint must have rules. That there are unwritten rules which most sentient, sane, bar regulars understand without explanation—the barroom social contract: “Y’know, stuff you don’t have to explain to anyone except the drool-cases and mutants,” he says. “You know what I’m sayin’? Stuff that people who walk upright already understand.”

 And then there are the rules you have to write down and spell out. You notice that the people who have to read the posted rules? Their lips are moving while they read them. Hell, their lips move when they read the comics or a grocery list. Read the rest of this entry »

Free Will Astrology

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By  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Would you like your savings account to grow? Then deposit money into it on a consistent basis. Would you like to feel good and have a lot of physical energy? Eat healthy food, sleep as much as you need to, and exercise regularly. Do you want people to see the best in you and give you the benefit of the doubt? See the best in them and give them the benefit of the doubt. Would you love to accomplish your most important goal? Decide what you want more than anything else and focus on it with relaxed intensity. Yes, Aries, life really is that simple—or at least it is right now. If you want to attain interesting success, be a master of the obvious. Read the rest of this entry »

Free Will Astrology

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By  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to an astrologer named Astrolocherry (astrolocherry.tumblr.com), Aries is the sign of the freedom fighter, the explorer, the daredevil and the adventurer. That’s all true; I agree with her. But here’s an important caveat. As you get older, it’s your duty to harness all that hot energy on behalf of the softer, slower, more tender parts of your life. The coming weeks will offer you a great opportunity to work on that challenge. To get started, imagine how you can be a freedom fighter, explorer, daredevil and adventurer in service to your home, family and community. Read the rest of this entry »

Linework: Untitled

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By Kevin Budnik. Edited by Ivan Brunetti and Aaron Renier. (Click on image to enlarge.)

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Dime Stories: Donald Chump

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Illustration: Tony Fitzpatrick

Illustration: Tony Fitzpatrick

By Tony Fitzpatrick

There was a time when Donald Trump was easier to ignore. A squinty, arrogant, ego-driven billionaire, with a head full of piss-colored cotton candy. A Dope with more money than brain cells and an ambitious libido with a taste for model types. He was easy to laugh at and he was New York’s cross to bear—not ours.

His idiotic television show sought to breed mini-me versions of “The Donald” and damned near everyone who was on it was as detestable as he is. I caught it once, years ago, when Trump brought a dozen of these “Apprentice” drool-cases over to meet the late George Steinbrenner at Yankee Stadium. Steinbrenner, a convicted perjurer and member of Richard Nixon’s creepy inner circle, being Trump’s idea of a role model.

It was your usual verbal mutual kneel-and-bob session with two rich white guys standing across the room from each other, pointing both index fingers at one another and declaring: “You’re a WINNER, George” and then “No Donald, YOU’RE the WINNER, and these young WINNERS will learn from a great man like you.”

It would make one ill were it not so achingly funny. They were practically talking each other off.

Then I realized it isn’t so funny, that the whole country would have been done an invaluable service had someone locked the door after rolling a couple of grenades into Steinbrenner’s office. The world would have been spared a baker’s dozen of avaricious assholes who use Preparation H for lip gloss, and two delusional billionaires.

Now the goof wants to sign our city. He wants to slap his name on the world’s most beautiful skyline. Read the rest of this entry »

Free Will Astrology

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By  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you were alive 150 years ago and needed to get a tooth extracted, you might have called on a barber or blacksmith or wigmaker to do the job. (Dentistry didn’t become a formal occupation until the latter part of the nineteenth century.) Today you wouldn’t dream of seeking anyone but a specialist to attend to the health of your mouth. But I’m wondering if you are being less particular about certain other matters concerning your welfare. Have you been seeking financial advice from your massage therapist? Spiritual counsel from your car repair person? Nutritional guidance from a fast-food addict? I suggest you avoid such behavior. It’s time to ask for specific help from those who can actually provide it. Read the rest of this entry »

Free Will Astrology

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By  Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In its quest for nectar, a hummingbird sips from a thousand flowers every day. As it flaps its wings seventy times a second, zipping from meal to meal, it can fly sideways, backward, or forward. If it so desires, it can also hover or glide upside-down. It remembers every flower it visits, and knows how long it will take before each flower will produce a new batch of nectar. To some Spanish speakers, hummingbirds are known as joyas voladoras, or “flying jewels.” Now take everything I’ve just said, Aries, and use it as a metaphor for who you can be in the coming week. Read the rest of this entry »

Linework: Everything in the Booth, Half What It’s Marked

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By Eric Rivera. Edited by Ivan Brunetti and Aaron Renier. (Click on image to enlarge.)

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