By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): This week you may learn the real reason the tortoise beat the hare, why two of the three blind mice weren’t really blind, and the shocking truth about the relationship between Cinderella’s fairy godmother and the handsome prince. Myths will be mutating, Aries. Nursery rhymes will scramble and fairy tales will fracture. Thor, the god of thunder, may make a tempting offer to Snow White. The cow’s jump over the moon could turn out to have been faked by the CIA. An ugly duckling will lay an egg that Chicken Little claims is irrefutable proof the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse is imminent. Sounds like a rowdy good time for all! Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Controlled hysteria is what is required,” said playwright Arthur Miller in speaking about his creative process. “To exist constantly in a state of controlled hysteria. It’s agony. But everyone has agony. The difference is that I try to take my agony home and teach it to sing.” I hope this little outburst inspires you, Aries. It’s an excellent time for you to harness your hysteria and instruct your agony in the fine art of singing. To boost your chances of success in pulling off this dicey feat, use every means at your disposal to have fun and stay amused. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): At one point in his book “The Divine Comedy,” the Italian poet Dante is traveling through purgatory on his way to paradise. American poet T.S. Eliot describes the scene: “The people there were inside the flames expurgating their errors and sins. And there was one incident when Dante was talking to an unknown woman in her flame. As she answered Dante’s questions, she had to step out of her flame to talk to him, until at last she was compelled to say to Dante, ‘Would you please hurry up with your questions so I can get on with my burning?’” I bring this to your attention, Aries, because I love the way you’ve been expurgating your own errors and sins lately. Don’t let anything interfere with your brilliant work. Keep burning till you’re done. (Source: “A New Type of Intellectual: Contemplative Withdrawal and ‘Four Quartets’,” by Kenneth P. Kramer.) Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I invite you to identify all the things in your life that you really don’t need anymore: gadgets that have become outdated, clothes that no longer feel like you, once-exciting music and books and art works that no longer mean what they once did. Don’t stop there. Pinpoint the people who have let you down, the places that lower your vitality, and the activities that have become boring or artificial. Finally, Aries, figure out the traditions that no longer move you, the behavior patterns that no longer serve you, and the compulsive thoughts that have a freaky life of their own. Got all that? Dump at least some of them. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What do you typically do just before you fall asleep and right after you wake up? Those rituals are important for your mental health. Without exaggeration, you could say they are sacred times when you’re poised in the threshold between the two great dimensions of your life. I’ll ask you to give special care and attention to those transitions in the coming week. As much as possible, avoid watching TV or surfing the Internet right up to the moment you turn off the light, and don’t leap out of bed the instant an alarm clock detonates. The astrological omens suggest you are primed to receive special revelations, even ringing epiphanies, while in those in-between states. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or conquest,” said author George Eliot. I believe the same is true even about intimate bonds that have not been legally consecrated. Each tends to either be a collaboration of equals who are striving for common goals or else a power struggle in which one party seeks to dominate the other. Which of those two models has characterized your romantic history, Aries? Now is an excellent time to begin working to ensure that the partnership model will predominate for the rest of your long life. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sad but true: A lot of people seem to be perpetually in a state of wanting what they don’t have and not wanting what they actually do have. I’m begging you not to be like that in the coming weeks, Aries. Please? I’ll tell you why: More than I’ve seen in a long time, you will have everything going for you if you want precisely what you do have—and are not full of longing for what’s unavailable. Do you think you can manage that brilliant trick? If so, you will be amazed by the sublimity of the peace that will settle over you. Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The coming week is likely to be abnormally free of worries and frustrations. I’m afraid that means you’re not going to have as much right to complain as you usually do. Can you handle that? Or will you feel bereft when faced with the prospect of having so little to grumble about? Just in case, I’ve compiled a list of fake annoyances for you to draw on. 1. “My iPhone won’t light my cigarette.” 2. “The next tissue in my tissue box doesn’t magically poke out when I take one.” 3. “I want some ice cream, but I overstuffed myself at dinner.” 4. “I ran out of bottled water and now I have to drink from the tap.” 5. “My cat’s Facebook profile gets more friend requests than me.” 6. “When people tell me I should feel grateful for all I have instead of complaining all the time, I feel guilty.” Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Macy’s ad I saw in the newspaper had a blaring headline: “Find Your Magic 2.0.” The items that were being touted to help us discover our upgraded and more deluxe sense of magic were luxurious diamond rings. The cheapest was $2,150. I’m going to try to steer you in another direction in your quest to get in touch with Magic 2.0, Aries. I do believe you are in an excellent position to do just that, but only if you take a decidedly non-materialistic approach. What does your intuition tell you about how to hook up with a higher, wilder version of the primal mojo? Read the rest of this entry »

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Sanskrit word tapasya is translated as “heat,” but in the yogic tradition it means “essential energy.” It refers to the practice of managing your life force so that it can be directed to the highest possible purposes, thereby furthering your evolution as a spiritual being. Do you have any techniques for accomplishing that—either through yoga or any other techniques? This would be a good year to redouble your commitment to that work. In the coming months, the world will just keep increasing its output of trivial, energy-wasting temptations. You’ll need to be pretty fierce if you want to continue the work of transforming yourself into the Aries you were born to be: focused, direct, energetic and full of initiative. Read the rest of this entry »