This Week’s Biggest Gainers:
It came down to the wire, but the CTA avoided its Doomsday with a last-minute million-dollar grant from Blago.
Chicago Police Department
The autopsy report of Gefery Johnson—the South Side man who died in August after being tasered by the CPD—indicated that he died due to cocaine intoxication, not police brutality.
Sure, he’s still got to go, but the former governor was reassigned to Oxford prison in central Wisconsin, considerably closer to home.
Brandy Johnson and Lupe Silva
The senior lesbian couple at Waukegan High School won the students’ vote for cutest couple.
Betsy the Seal
Lincoln Park Zoo’s 36-year-old harbor seal passed away. Adieu!
This Week’s Biggest Losers:
The Bolingbrook man was pretty much convicted of murder by the media after the disappearance of his wife, Stacy.
The Bulls coach led his team to a staggering 0-3 start of the basketball season.
Overall lackluster play has caused Captain Kirk’s craft to veer to 0-3—and to take some serious heat from sportswriters and radio jocks.
Recently fired from the AMC River East theater, the Wicker Park resident, along with a few friends, allegedly decided to rob the multiplex. They were all promptly apprehended.
The Bulls big man finished the team’s first three games with an underwhelming eleven rebounds, total.