This week’s biggest gainers:
1 Jon Michael Hill
Or should it be Jon “Tony” Hill after the nominations?
2 Gigi Pritzker
“Million Dollar Quartet” might be chump change for your family, but a Tony nom? Priceless.
3 Jonathan Toews
Keep this kind of hockey up, and you might even earn a mural painted by the expressway. Err…
4 Paul Konerko
Just eight more players like you and the White Sox will have a team.
5 John Paxson
Oops! Sorry I attacked you, Vinny. PS: You’re fired.
This week’s biggest losers:
1 Phil Pagano
Now that’s a bad week: accusations of misdeeds, job-threatening probe and finally suicide by one of the very trains you’re in charge of.
2 Vinny Del Negro
First your necktie, now your neck. The Bulls locker room clearly wasn’t safe for the likes of you.
3 Lora Hunt
You should have plenty of time to polish your nails in the slammer.
4 John Brooks
Good luck with the ladies now that you’re ex-Fire Commissioner. Something tells us your “charm” might wear off when you can’t fire them.
5 Bobby Jenks
Sounds like Ozzie’s ready to throw a change-up at closer.