This week’s biggest gainers:
1 Rocky Wirtz
Who’s your daddy?
2 Joel Quenneville
Wow. A Chicago coach who coaches.
3 Patrick Kane
The goal is unforgettable. That incident with the cab driver is too, thanks to the tasteless jokes at the parade.
4 Jonathan Toews
The captain, the class.
5 Buddy Guy
With your new club, you’re practically putting the future of Chicago blues on your 73-year-old shoulders, it seems.
This week’s biggest losers:
1 Rod Blagojevich
The trial is on, and so are the cameras. Oh yeah, you noticed.
2 Jon Burge
The other trial. You allegedly tortured prisoners; Blago just tortured taste, ethics and decorum.
3 Mark Kirk
Mendacity about military matters, matters.
4 Lou Piniella
Now that the Hawks are champs, all we have is to focus on how godawful the Cubs are.
5 Ozzie Guillen
Now that the Hawks are champs, all we have is to focus on how godawful the Sox are.