This Week’s Biggest Gainers:
1 Desiree Rogers
Once-floundering Obama social secretary took gig as CEO of now-floundering Johnson Publishing.
2 Gabi Gregg
youngfatandfabulous.com blogger won a six-figure gig as MTV’s first-ever Twitter jockey. Apparently, the network is striking a blow for full-figured women everywhere, as long as they stay on the computer and off-camera.
3 Gavin Floyd
Sox hurler named American League Pitcher of the Month. Cited for giving up a miserly 0.80 ERA for July and remaining safely neither Asian nor Latino for the entire month.
4 Alexi Giannoulias
Lucky for you, our beleagured would-be senator, Obama’s still popular here, stumping for you in his old stomping grounds.
5 Dominic Molon
Longtime MCA curator took top curator gig in St. Louis. Apparently that’s a step up.
This Week’s Biggest Losers:
1 Chandler Bigelow and Donald Grenesko
Why isn’t “intentional fraud” on CEO Randy Michaels’ banned-phrase list? Trib financial execs, blasted for disastrous buyout deal by court bankruptcy examiner, want to know.
2 Richard Daley
This is a fine Fitch we’re in, when even the bond raters are figuring out what’s going on. At least crime is under control.
3 Ozzie Guillen
Sox skipper took heat, even from his own team’s management, for speaking out about league bias in favor of Asian players relative to Latinos. Truth, apparently, is no defense.
4 Welz Kaufman
Ravinia chief found his concert venue under public fire for shortchanging rank-and-file fans at a Sondheim tribute. Apparently, someone took “Send in the Clowns” literally.
5 Rene M. Earles
Who’s to blame for Bernie Mac’s too-young-to-die-but-he-did? His widow says the South Side dermatologist. No word on whether Earles is a closeted Cubs fan.