This week’s biggest gainers:
1 Dan Rostenkowski
Disgraced congressional power broker died and his reputation was resurrected in the eulogies that greeted his passing.
2 Scottie Pippen
Holy Hall-of-Famery, Batman!
3 Rod Blagojevich
Huh-huh. Hung jury. Bet you thought the jury said you were well-hung.
4 Roger Ebert
The demise of “At the Movies” led to communal thumbsucking of nostalgia for his years with Siskel.
5 Vince Vaughn
Apparently, he’s some famous—or should we say “big?”—skydiver or something?
This week’s biggest losers:
1 Richard Daley
Now Dateline NBC’s doing national stories on gang killings in Chicago. Maybe you’ll achieve your goal of making the world forget Al Capone after all.
2 Devin Hester
Gee, thanks coach for telling the world I’m not stoopid.
3 JJ Putz
We liked the Sox reliever a lot more when he WASN’T living up to his name.
4 Michael Randle
We’re guessing the Illinois prison honcho’s voting Democratic after the Republican gubernatorial challenger called for his head, metaphorically speaking.
5 Phillip Foss
Lost his job as chef of Lockwood, last seen selling donuts on a food truck.