This Week’s Biggest Gainers:
1
Barack Obama
Did we mention that the prez who took down Osama bin Laden was a Chicago guy?
2
Tom Thibodeau
Bulls leader won NBA Coach of the Year, if not Coach of the Day as his men lost their second-round opener the day his honor was announced.
3
Rev. Michael Pfleger
Saint Sabina’s priest became a martyr when he was suspended for the Cardinal sin of sticking beside his people.
4
Garry McCarthy
And to solve our crime problem, Mayor Rahm turned to that bastion of safety, Newark!
5
Gabe Carimi
Take that, Pack. The Bears grabbed this Wisconsin tackle in the first round to help Jay Cutler slice the cheese.
This Week’s Biggest Losers:
1
Cardinal Francis George
Forget the pedophiles and other issues. The Catholic Church’s real problem is an inner-city priest who’s dared nurture a rare inner-city African American congregation and doesn’t want to throw in the towel on them.
2
Ozzie Guillen
Booted from a game, suspended for Tweeting and now, forced to endure his heartbreakingly bad White Sox like the rest of us: on TV, with instant replays galore.
3
Joel Quenneville
His defending-champ Blackhawks roared back from a three-game deficit, but could not finish off their miracle on ice when they fell in game seven’s overtime.
4
Jerome Finnigan
Google this ex-Chicago police officer if you think the movies go too far in depicting bad cops.
5
Rod Blagojevich
Feels (not) like the first time: we’re so tired of you, you barely chart as a loser at all, even during your trial.
